just writin a message to let u know even though we did not always see eye to eye. i was always there when u needed me along with all the other boys in penyrheol. and i will never forget you. you will always be sadly missed but never forgotten. rest easy son maybe i will meet u again some day
dai
Easter 2008 / Mum
Another Easter without you. I miss you constantly. Your in my thoughts constantly. I know your around us, but I desperately want to see you again. Laughing and Joking like you did. Somedays the shock still hits that you are no longer with us and it never fails to take my breath away. It's like I am being stabbed in the heart. It hurts so much.
This Easter, Dad and I are going to Cornwall, we are taking your little girl with us. I know she will run us ragged but she is the closest thing that we can get to you. She is my saviour in this mess....
Happy Easter babe, wherever you are. I love you so much. It doesn't get any easier. It get's harder. I miss you so much.
Love you baby
Mum xxxx
Happy Easter Dean / Tess, Angel Matthew McPhail's Mummy (Angel Mummy Who Cares )
A friend as good as abrother / Damion Williams (Good Friend )
Hi Ginge,
how you doing mate i know you aint here but i feels like your looking down on all of us, looking after us and watching out for us. Every time i go to the spiritualist church i always think about you and wonder will you ever come through to me and say a few words. But that is not the case at the moment maybe its not the right time but i do know you came through to my dad which was really nice, i was there but i could not put a picture in my head to who it was i later realised it was YOU. Im going through some tough times in my life at the moment and to think of oyu gives me some uplift and feel alot better.
Please look after your self up there hope you meet your mate from iraq and got someone to talk to.
Speak to you soon mate you will always be remembered......
Little Winston (Damion)
Happy Easter in Heaven Dean / Forever Family To Angel~Vanessa Borg~
Easter Wishes
with
Our Love
from
Vanessa Family.
Dream/ Mum
Hello Sweetheart,
I dreamt about you last night. I have only dreamt about you once before and then you were a little boy about five years old. Last night you were as you was when I last saw you. You were smiling and happy. You looked fresh and alive. I wanted to touch you but for some reason I couldn't, but in my dream it didn't matter. It was if you had not left us and I felt no pain only real happiness that I could see you. It was if you had not died.
But, when I woke up I cried because I realised that it was just a dream.....
Thank you for coming to me in the dream, I so wish you were still here with us. The pain is still as bad as the first day and the longer this goes on the more I miss you.
To all of dean's familly that is reading this it is true a while a go know dean came through to me at spiritual reading i just did not know how to tell you about this.
The spiritual lady i met through dad as my dad has now jioned the spiritual circle and mediumship.
At the reading she said i have a young boy with me all dressed in leathers and motorbike helmet on. he is in his early 20's i get the feeling of an accident with him, she said that he would not take his helmet off " i guess because of the accident and he did not want her to see what had happened to him" she went on to say that he is really strong to you and a close freind he wants to tell that your not ready for marriage and that i was mad asking rachel my partner to marry me and that i should wait a few years to see how things plan out - at time we were really going through a rough time together not really going to go into that right know but he also mentioned that my mind does over time with worries and stress and that if he was here things would be alot lot diffrent she mentioned dean was using all his of his energy to help me through this part of my life and he was always pushing me forward he couldnt believe how unhappy i was at the time and told her to tell me to sort myself out and that he is always going to be with me she said that he said that things were not working in the relationship and that i would move back home with my mum and dad funny thing is i did a couple of weeks later for about to 4 months
Hi mate i really miss you so much life is not the same without you around. I cant thank you enough for coming through at the reading you were right i went back to my mums for a couple of months and what you said about getting married i was not ready and that me and rachel had alot to sort out in our relationship.
you also mentioned that i should not stress all the time and start enjoying my life and live it to the max because if you was here things would be alot diffrent - Trust me im working on that -
You are 1 in a million mate and just because you are out of sight it does not mean that you are not here you are all around us and always will be see you on the otherside some day keep me a place
Always in my thoughts!!!!
Winston
Thinking of You Precious Dean with Love / Forever Family To Angel~Vanessa Borg~
You were a blessing to us all you were a special child. And we were so glad God sent you to be with us awhile.
You filled our home with happiness and made our life complete. The time we had with you was far too short, but oh so sweet.
Some things we don't find easy to accept or understand. Until we realize they're part Of our Creator's perfect plan.
Now it comforts us to know you're with the angels up above. While in our hearts we hold you close surrounded by our love.
with All Our Love
from
Vanessa Family
my beautifiul cousin / Vicci Cuz hiya my darling its been a while but your never out of my thoughts im miss you so much i keep expectin you to walk in to nans one hand down your trousers and tha other scouting thro the cupboards looking for crisps lol! what a character. ive had a lil baby boy called brooklyn hes seven months now and kaitlin loves him she trys feeding him all tha time, i cant wait to tell him all about you when hes bigger and our storys from our caravan days dwn cornwall we were lil nightmares but we always new the things we done would make great stories just wish u were here to tell them with me now. i love you so much and miss you more and more every day. watch over us and keep us close sleep tight beautiful angel
Happy Birthday / Tina Lee (part time mam ) Happy birthday babe, I'm sitting here tears streaming as I look at your website. Thinking how unfair life is, but then I realise we were all lucky to have known you, even it was for such a short time. I don't visit the website often as it upsets me too much , but that doesn't mean we don't think about you and I still find it hard to believe you won't walk through the door asking for the boys...you never knocked..I would have shouted at you if you did. Dan will be upset today...he misses you sooooo much but his new baby Logan Dean will always be a reminder of his bonkers mate. I still got the knife you pinched off your dad...it;s "Dean's knife ^and stupid as it sounds, every time I use it I think of you...was it Darren's girlfriend that accidently nicked you with it, messing about? Anyway babe, wherever you are I know you're enjoying your birthday....although missing us all like mad ...so HAPPY BIRTHDAY...all our love & kisses Tina Dan Darren Ian & Wez XXXXX
PS...love to Maria & Nick xxxxx
Your 25th Birthday / Mum Happy Birthday Son. I am sat here thinking about this day twenty five years ago. At this time I was still in Labour with you. You were born at 3.25pm and weighed 6lb 4oz. So tiny considering how tall you grew to be. I keep wondering what you would have been doing today. Would you have been in the UK or Germany. I know that you would have been out on the town tonight or having a BBQ if you were in Germany with the gang. (Even in this weather!) Dad and I talked about you this morning, not that that is unusual we always talk about you. But we both remembered the day you were born. We cried the pain is so acute. But we also laughed at some of the things you have said and done. Why, oh why Dean? I am so proud of you, I am so grateful I gave you life and that we had you for twenty two years. Too short, but so grateful that we were fortunate we were choosen to be your parents. If I was granted one wish it would be for you to return to us and this awful, awful accident to never have happened.
The longing and aching goes on I don’t belong In this world without you Why can’t you see my world has stopped? The moon still waxes and wanes The birds still sing Flowers still bloom Tides ebb and flow Do they not know? That my heart broke that day Beauty eludes me Everything is Grey in my world No colour No growth Just sadness, loneliness The desire to hold you Kiss you Keep you safe from harm My son Where are you? Do you see us? Do you watch over us? Do you long to be with us? How do we go on without you? Time has not healed Time confirms your departure And the pain comes Ferocious, holding no bounds Will it ever cease? Not until we are reunited with you my Son.
I love you with all my heart and every breath that I take I miss you so very much. Wherever you are Happy Birthday...
Love Mam xxxx
~~Birthday Blessings to You Precious Angel Dean~~ / Forever Family To Angel~Vanessa Borg~
with much Love & Prayers from Vanessa Family xoxo
Thinking of You Precious Dean this Blessed Holiday Season in Heaven with Love / Forever Family Of Angel~Vanessa Borg~
Wishing You a Wonderful Season Filled with Heavenly Peace alone And the Warmth of God's Presence In Your Heart and Home with much Love from Vanessa Family xoxo
Our Third Christmas without you.. / Mum
This will be our third Christmas without you. Time has really stood still for us. We have two lives the one before you left and the one we are trying to live now without you. I miss you more and more and I know I can say the same for the rest of the family. There is not a day that goes by that we don't shed a tear for you. Sometimes it doesn't feel real, I often think that you are in Germany or Iraq. Today, on the radio Chris Rea's 'driving home for Christmas' came on. I cried and cried, I remember you would sing it to me on the phone when you would returning home for Christmas. What I wouldn't do to hear you now. We are looking after Kaitlin for you, just as we promised you we would every time you went to Iraq. She is the most amazing little girl. I am sure you are looking down on her and is very proud of her. I would love to see your face smiling at her. We will never let her forget you. She sings all the time and speaks welsh to us. (Thank god Hollie can speak it, as we would never understand what she is saying to us!) Dad is a broken man, I don't think he will ever forgive himself for going to get you that bike. I keep thinking of when you dressed up as Mother Christmas. You were so funny. You should be here with us now larking around as you always did. My heart is broken, I will never understand why this happened to you. Sometimes the pain is so deep I cannot breath and think that I will die too. We are doing a different sort of Christmas this year. Whatever we do will be filled with the pain and longing and regret that you are not here to share it with us. I love you Son, you will always be in my heart... Missing you Mam xxxxxxxx
Merry Christmas / Kate Porter Christopher's Mum
Hello my angel xx / Emma Hopkins (Cousin) Hiya Babe i havent wrote to u for so long so thought it was about time i did,
I just wanna start by saying life isnt the same now ur gone the feeling of loss is the most horrible feeling in the world i wish u could come back and ease our pain, but thank you for my messages i been getting i now know and believe that ur still here.
My little boy morgan is nearly 1 now he's so lush babe u would love him he is well into his dancing lol he sits on the floor shaking his bum with his hands in the air pointing his finger up lol. kaitlin is absolutely beautiful babe thank you for giving her to us she is so funny and she loves morgan she lies on the floor in nanny's and waves her hands in the air saying look im baby morgan lol she always wants to feed him and play with him.
me and your mother go to spanish lessons on a monday night its so much fun and your mam is so good at it, we are gonna be fluent spaniards soon lol.
ill speak to u soon babe ill write soon i promise and keep my messages coming i love to hear from you.
I love u so much babe, and miss u more than words can say
Love Emma xxx
Missing you more and more. / Mum It's been a few months since I last wrote to you on here. It's mad, how the hell am I talking to you through a website? You should be here giving me hassle and making me laugh. Why oh why? That I shall never know. Lots of things have happened since I last wrote to you. We went down to Cornwall on your anniversary. It rained the whole time we were there except in the evening when we planned to set of the ballons. The rain cleared away. We all went down to the beach and lit the ballons and toasted a drink to you. It was very moving and emotional. I still find it hard to comprehend. I tend to want to be away from the house as much as possible and yet sometimes scared of leaving the relative safety of these four walls. I went back to Spain walking with Cheryl. We only walked a 100 miles that time, but still had a wonderful time. Katie has had a new baby girl. Her name is Masie Jane. She is beautiful and doing well now that they have sorted a few problems that Masie was experiencing. Your little girl has also started nursery school. She has taken to it like a duck to water. She is very chatty and confident. She is very much like you were at that age. In fact it's like looking at a 'mini me' of you. Everyone loves her, she is very special to people. She is a gift to us and she sometimes takes away our pain, if only for a moment. I have enrolled her into stage school. She goes every Sunday for two hours. I think she is going to be our little star! In November, there is going to be a show over in the Muni arts centre in Pontypridd. I'm looking forward to that! I am starting a new job tomorrow. It's a little daunting as I have not worked for nearly 18 months. I have decided I need something to keep my mind occupied. I am constantly thinking about you and wishing you were here with us. We are all going away for Christmas. We can't have anymore Christmas' like we have had since you have gone. It's just to painful without you. It's a time for families to come together. It only makes your absence more apparent. I can't believe it's been two years since that fateful day. I miss and love you every second, every hour of every day. I will always feel like that. I have become very good at wearing a mask. Speak to you soon my baby. Love you forever and eternity Mam xxxx
Our Second Year without you! / Mum Here we are again, facing another year without you. I can't believe on Saturday it will be two years. Somedays it feels like yesterday, other days it feels like a lifetime away. Our whole family dynamics have changed. We are still devestated from your loss. I find it hard to come to terms that I have only two living children. It should be three. Even now, I forget that you have gone and sometimes go to buy things for the three of you. How can I forget that you have gone? I feel the pain of losing you every minute of every day. Perhaps it's my brain tricking me to give my body some respite from the pain? However, I know now that your never far away from us. During my walk, we spent a lot of time together. I never felt you around me at home, but I did feel your presence most of the time while walking. You guided me to the right track when I got lost in Puente la Renia. When my feet hurt and I thought I couldn't walk another step, you told me to 'get a grip'! When walking the lonely meseta, you walked beside me telling me jokes and keeping me company. Despite what others may think, I know you were there beside me. Thank you my boy. It is Kaitlin's 3rd birthday today. She is a wonderful little girl. I know you are so proud of her. We have been singing 'happy birthday' in welsh and english. She is a bright, intelligent little girl Dean. We all adore her so, very, very much. We have had a new addition to the family. Victoria gave birth to a little boy on the 30th June. He is so tiny. He is beautiful. His name is Brooklyn Brian. Can you remember when you used to call yourself Dean Brian? On Friday morning, we are all going down to Par to spend your anniversary together, hopefully on the beach again. We will set off balloons, and drink to your memory. We will remember the good times we shared with you. We will celebrate all that was you. I am so proud and happy that I was privileged to have you as a son, but devestated and sorry we had to lose you so early in your life.
I love you so very, very much and miss you more than words can say. Continue to stay close to us my boy. Love and Kisses Mammy xxxxx
4th/ Gail Mom Crystal Earnhart (^l^ friends )
Missing You! / Mum Hello my Angel, I know I haven't written here for a while, but sometimes it is so hard. I don't want to be writing on a website, I want to see you and talk to you. Lots of things have been going on. I am doing a pilgrim walk in Spain. It's 500 miles Dean, can you believe that! It's going to take me 5 weeks to complete. I am doing the walk in your memory. I hope that you will guide and protect me along the walk. I know you have been around me when I have been doing my training alone on the mountains and lanes. I have sometimes felt your presences urging me along. I know I talk to you, I hope you have heard me. Apparently along the walk there are hidden Angels that will protect the pilgrims. Mine Angel won't be hidden, you will be with me, in my heart and mind. I miss you so much Dean, the hurt never goes away, my heart is open and sometimes it bleeds so profusley I think I am going to die. It will be nearly two years since you left us. Today two years ago, you came home and bought the bike. Why didn't I try to talk you out of it more. You would be still here then and everything would be okay. We would still be a complete family. The family circle would be unbroken. Kaitlin is amazing, I love her so much, but you knew that. Remeber you last words to me were, 'she's pucker Mum, your going to love having her'. She is so like you at that age. Dean, she is constantly singing. She is so happy, but god help anyone who wakes her up when she is sleeping. It makes me laugh and cry. Such a mixture of emotions... Been going out with Dad, Tony, Bev, Trev and Jenna on the bikes. I have actually enjoyed it. Although when I am on the bike, you are constantly on my mind. I cry often. We have our own little group now. Just like your 'Tweeting Budgies'! Bev and I had T shirts printed with pictures of Dad and Tony wearing leather caps, we had printed on the front with gaybiker.com. You should have seen their faces! Hollie, Nanny & Bampy are going to Turkey today. I know Hollie has been wound up. The last time she returned from Turkey it was the night that you died. She is scared that she will come home to something on that scale again. I'm sure she won't Dean, I hope and pray she won't. Please look after her for me.
Yesterday I bought Steve the T shirt you wanted that was in the film Kevin and Perry go large. It's the one with the Alien that lights up. I wanted to buy it for you Dean, remember you asked me to find one for you. Well I did, but your not here for me to buy you one now. I love you Dean, I wish you were still here, clowning around and making us laugh. Life on Waltons mountain will never ever be the same. Love forever and ever your broken hearted Mother xxxxx
Tributes and Condolences
Hi Ginge,
Add to favorites 
