Everytime i come on here i see your pictures and everytime it makes me cry, Its easter today and even though we should all be stuffing our faces it still feels so sad. ( its not like me to turn choc down.)
Dean theres something missing in our world now..... You. us cousins are not the same without you, you was a big part of this family and without you here it dont feel so much big anymore.
Your my big cousin who i will love forever, Your my angel in my eyes, you always looked after all of us you always make us smile and laugh, i miss you so much..
Love you so much dean, never forget it...
Amy
Happy Easter Daddy! / Kaitlin (Daughter) Dear Daddy, Me and Nanny are looking at your pictures again. I like looking at your photos some are very funny. It's Easter time and I am going to have lots of Easter Eggs. I like Chocolate Daddy, Nanny said that you like Chocolate too Daddy, so here are some Easter Eggs for you to eat in heaven.
I hope you like them. I love and miss you so very much. Lots of Love Kaitlin Loulabell ';opecidfjdsinemsapnwu993nnfkjanfm xxoxxoxxoxxoxx
Our Thoughts and Prayers / Family Of Angel ~Vanessa Borg~ Thinking of You Dean with Much Love Thoughts And Prayers.Give Our Vanessa a Big Hug for Us Won't You.God Bless You Dean and your Precious Family.xxxxxx
How come the world won't stop / Mum Somebody told me you were not coming home the words are spinnin' in time and the air suddenly went cold
The sun is still shining but everything feels like rain, oh and if I had one wish it would be to see you again
Nothing's fair when we loose without a moment to say goodbye
How come the world won't stop spinning now that you're gone (now that you're gone) I know every end has beginnings but this one's all wrong (this one's all wrong) so wrong, so wrong
Caught in the middle wrong place, wrong time and I'm hopelessly missing you and I can't stop deny
Nothing's fair anymore and I know there's a better place and I'll never stop dreaming of you ooooh
How come the world won't stop spinning (now that you're gone) now that you're gone I know every end has beginnings but this one's all wrong (this one's all wrong) so wrong, so wrong
How can the seasons keep changing since you disappeared oh yeah (tell me) how come the world won't stop how come the world won't stop
Sweet tears are shed this pain we lay to rest it's hard lettin' go but I keep movin' on in a place I don't belong
How come the world (stop spinning) now that you're gone I know every end has beginning this one's all wrong this one's all wrong (how can the seasons) keep changing since you disappeared oh, you're gone you're gone how come the world won't stop how come the world won't stop
How come the world won't stop spinning now that you're gone yeah heya I know every end has beginning but this one's all wrong so wrong
Anastacia. 2005
Miss you babe. xxxxx
Marie and Family / Gail Mom Crystal Earnhart (^l^ friend ) First off, I am so sorry for your loss. Dean seems like a wonderful person and dad. I would personally like to thank him for protecting us the way he did. My hero! There must be a reason our children were taken before us. I will never understand why. They were just starting out their lives, thier children, their families. They had so much to live for. I would gladly change places with them in an instant. July 14 will be a day I will remember and hate for the rest of my life. That day is the day our beautiful children were taken and now sit in Heaven. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I am here for you if you ever need to talk to vent. I know what you are going through. Hugs. Gail
So Sorry / Family Borg To Angel Vanessa
What a Tragic Story.We are so touched by the story about Dean.I pray that Our Daughter and Dean are in The Heavens with our Lord.Our Thoughts Prayers and Love with you all.May God Bless You All.Vanessa Dad's is born in Newport Wales.Here is Our Vanessa Memorial Site if you like ti visit. http://vanessa-borg.memory-of.com/
You have not left us because a part of you is within all of us, we may not see you anymore but i now you are around us giving us the guidance we all need and seek.
You know what i miss is you and the things
that we use to do and the laughs that we use to have.
we should all get together again mate in remberance of you my good friend to celebrate the good times of a person which is a big part of our lives you should agree !!!!
You'll never be forgotten because of the things that you did and the things that you've done for all of us
you will live on forever in all of us mate so you are not gone you are just not visable
I always shed a tear love you always good friend
Life with out my bro / Big Brother Nicholas (best m8 and bro )
STEVIE BRI
Morning Bro just woke this morning thinking of you so much I thought I would write a little tribute to you while Gem and the baby is still sleeping! Just listening to some dance music and it brought so many memories back of us pair in canada and evolution together, loved it, we were so close, you were not only my little brother you were my best mate!! Those days are gone now, sadly not only cause your not here, but I suffer from epilepsy, and a full time dad to your little beauty Kaitlin. She is awesome full of life and is all you.Just wish you could see her. Woke up yesterday with her calling for me to open her bedroom door and she said to me, look at the state of you! I laughed my head off and said well I just woke up babe! She is growing up so fast just got to watch what you say in front of her now cause she is sharp copying our words.
Well bro just to say I hate coming on this web site, it makes me cry to much, my eyes are streaming as im trying to write to you. Will speak soon love and miss you with all my life Stephen x x x x x x x x x xx
For Dean on valentines day x / Georgina -. Tcf -. Holly's Mum
Hi mate hows it going lifes not the same without you, missing you so much wish you was still here to have our chats and nights out. Me and Rachel and Codi are moving in a months time (for the third time!!) down to the brad. You know what women are like what they say go. Codi is coming up to two year old in July cant believe were the time is going, he'll be taller than me now the way its going. Daniel Lee says hi, all the boys are mising you like crazy!!.
All our thoughts go out to your family, we all now how hard it is to loose someone who is so close to our hearts.
NO DOUT WE'LL MEET AGAIN SOME DAY, AS FRIENDS CAN NEVER STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im so sorry / Amy (Cousin) Hey dean im so sorry, Please dont think i have forgotten you cause i utterly havent, I feel so bad, I miss u more than ever dean, Your mum is right, family is not the same, makes u realise how much family means, i hate it took so long, and it took this to realise.
Its so hard now dean, writting to you, every time i come on here its getting harder, specially now. Im not very good at writting my feeling but i know u know what im feeling, not the bright of spark u know that.
Miss you like crazy and love you millions Amy
Happy 24th Birthday / Mum &. Dad This is all wrong. I shouldn't be here writing Happy Birthday to you on a memorial website. You should be here Big and loud and full of life. I am so sad. We are all so sad. Dad said he is sorry that he has not written to you, but he can't. He glances occasionally at this site and ends up crying. It's your second birthday that we have had without you. It still doesn't seem real, somehow. We are so grateful that you were born to us, even though it was for a short time. We miss you so much, I keep waiting for you to appear shouting 'Surprise' or some other little quip! But it's not going to happen is it? You live in our hearts, the day you were born was a very special day and I so wish I could turn back time. We love you son and want to wish you a Happy Birthday wherever you are. Love and loads of Cwtches Mam and Dad xxxxx
my new little boy / Emma Hopkins (cousin) Hiya babe, well i dont it and had my baby he was 9lb 15, he's huge bless him. had to have a caeserean but at least its all done with.
Kaitlin loves him she comes down all the time and dont stop talking bout baby morgan hehe she sits on my sofa and holds him on her lap and h is nearly the size of her already. Ill ask ur mam to put a picture of him on her with kaitlin so u can see.
i hope u was with us all christmas and new year, not a day goes by when ur not thought of. Everybody wishes they could see u, your missed so much hun it hurts!
Thinking of u and missin u more than words can say even more with ur birthday approaching.
Love you loads couz
Love Emma & Morgan xxx
Hello Daddy! / Kaitlin Nicholas (Daughter) Hello Daddy, Me and Nanny are sat here looking at your pictures. Some are very funny and makes me giggle. I am suppose to be in bed Daddy, but I have a cold and a bad cough and was sick in Nanny's bed. Santa, came today and I had lots of presents and surprises! Santa is very kind, but I am not sure if I like him, cos he frightens me. Nanny and Bampy took me to see Santa a few days ago and I run away from him. Today we had a special dinner, I was a big girl and ate it all up. We all had a drink and said your name loudly 'Daddy Dean'. Did you hear us? We also give you a drink of Strongbow. I like Strongbow, but Nanny said I am not to drink it, cos it makes you drunk! I had a sneaky sip out of a Wine Glass!! Nanny has been telling me all about you at Christmas. She was crying and I said 'Sorry Nanny, don't cry'. I wish you were here to make her laugh again. I make Nanny laugh lots! She always smiles when she see's me! I have to go now Daddy. Nanny said she is going to give me some more medicine to help my cough. Nite, nite Daddy, I love you and wish you were here with us. Happy Christmas in the Sky. Lots of Love Kaitlin xxxx mcijenmvnbeojcmc,ksdfoejkmakfmv,.xzmjdersfsffsff
Christmas 2006 / Mum Well here we are again, our second Christmas without you. I remember thinking last year that this Christmas would be a little easier. How wrong I was. Last year I must of been in shock, because this year is far, far worse. It still feels very unreal, I keep thinking your in Iraq or Germany, but I keep waiting for the phones calls and when I see Kaitlin and Gem, I know it's possibly real. Time has not healed us. Infact it is the opposite, we long for you, we miss you so much. Everything has changed since you have gone, none of us are the people we once were. I have lost my job, you know the one that you always said I had my degree in Babysitting!! Dad has finished his job and now finally works for himself. He is much happier doing that than his old job. But the best news of all is Emma had her new baby, a boy called Morgan David Dennis, and no Dean he is not a Chav baby!! He is a little fatty weighing in at nearly 10lb's! He's amazing! When I went to see Em, she was in the same ward as Gem. It brought back so many memories, of how you arrived and how you nearly fainted when Kaitlin was born. You were so proud of her. You still would be if you were here. Kaitlin goes to Nursery three mornings a week. She is also toilet trained, boy was that a job! She is Cheeky and strong willed and actually quite stubbon. Mmm I wonder who she reminds me of? Nan and Bamp are okay and still missing you so much. Your 'Blue' is well and truly Blue now Dean. There is only Dad, Hollie and I here tonight. This is the first time that it's only been us. Last year, Steve, Gem and Kaitlin stayed her. Every other year it's been all of us. I miss you so much Dean. Each day is so hard to bear without one of my children, but at least each day gone is a day closer to when I will be reunited with you. Merry Christmas Sweetheart wherever you are. I love you so much. Love Mammy xxxx
miss u / Gemma Nicholas (wife) as the months have gone by the pain is still the same! it still feels like only yesterday u were standing in the doorway saying good bye to kaitlin an me but who woul dhave known that it would have been the last time for u to say good bye annd the last time we would see ur smiling face!! we all miss u soooo much and we all long to see u!!! why did it have to be this way?? why u?? ur mum and dad took kaitlin on a train ride up the brecon to see santa on wednesday...she ran away from him as soon as she saw him hahaha! shes getting so big now,she isnt ur baby girl anymore!shes ur little girl!the older she gets the more shes getting like u in looks and personality(shes so stuborn and bossy). i just wish u were here to do all the things like taking her to school and taking her to the park just to see her face and how happy she is! everyone loves u sooo much dean its breaking our hearts! u are one in a million dean and ill never forget that and its unfair for heaven to have u and not us.
sleep tight baby
love gem an kaitlin x x x x x x x x x x
little letter for you babe / Emma (COUSIN)
Hiya Hun, Sorry i haven wrote to u in a while, so i thought i would update u on some things,
My pregnancy is going well im nearly 38 weeks pregnant now im having a boy and calling him Morgan David (after my dad! but if he had his way the baby would be called little Dai hehe) so not long now before we have another addition to the family. Im a bit nervous about the whole labour thing to be honest but its a bit late to worry now hehe he has to come out dont he!
Your baby girl is just as beautiful as ever, nanny was sayng she has had school pictures done i cant wait to see them, whenever she comes down she always see's something of morgans winnie the pooh and starts singing, she loves winnie the pooh she does!
There will be another little baby in the family soon but ill let that person tell you dont wanna spoil their news.
Missing u loads hun, wish u wernt taken away from us and was still here making us all laugh and smile with your personalty and jokes. i know its said by everyone but honesly dean life isnt the same without you there is a gap missing in our family and it can never be filled by anyone but you.
We all love u very much and not a day goes by where ur not in our thoughts
Speak soon, Sleep tight angel boy
Love Emma & Morgan x
It's been a while..... / Mum
Hello Sweetheart, I know it's been a while since I last wrote on here, but I have been finding it really hard. I keep thinking that things will get better and you will soon appear through that front door large as life. But as time is going on I know that will never be.... Sunday night 'Kevin and Perry goes large' was on tv. I know how much you liked that film. I made sure that you had a good viewing position. I hope you enjoyed it even though you could quote the script word for word. People will think I am mad doing that, but I don't care. I want you back now please. Is it you turning our bathroom light on and off at night? Do you really speak to us through the Winnie the Pooh bear? I so desperately want it to be. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, some days are better than others. But even those better days are filled with a huge anxious feeling inside me, and my heart feels so heavy. I sometimes think I cannot go on without you. How can you be d**d? I have no choice, I have to go on for your brother and sister and of course that beautiful, cheeky daughter of yours! She has just started playschool Dean. She is so funny and chatty. I wonder where she get's that from? We took her to the dentist for the first time. She just got up onto the chair and opened her mouth. Not one bit of fear. Hollie and I are trying to make her into a Pink princess. It's a fairly hard job, because she is a tomboy Dean! But we will continue to try! Dad has finished his job and set up his own property maintenance business. You would have liked to be involved with that wouldn't you? You are like dad when it came to DIY, you always like to have a go. I have applied for two jobs, which I am awaiting second interviews. Everything is change. Our lives are no longer the happy unit we once were. It will never be the same, ever.... Kaitlin and I was in bed the other night. You could see the stars shining. She said to me, 'Stars Nan, Daddy Dean up in the sky'. It breaks my heart to know that she will never know you.
Luv you so much. Mam xxxxxx
Is it just a dream? / Mam I haven't written on here for a few weeks. I am finding it really hard to accept that you have gone. Whoever said that Time is a Great Healer, obviously didn't experience the death of their child. Dad and I have been touring Spain on the bike. Yes, I couldn't quite believe that I had agreed to it either! However, we had to cut the holiday short as Dad wasn't to good. He cried continuously, in the end we decided to come home early.
It was my birthday yesterday. I didn't feel like celebrating. I kept thinking back to my birthday last year. Remember you phoned me up to wish me a happy birthday and I told you off for not posting my card sooner. "It's only a card, I'll buy you something nice when I come home", you said. You never did get to buy me that present did you? Fourteen days later you were gone. If only I had known that you only had that short time left. I would have held and kissed you forever..... It's coming up to the anniversary of that day. I cannot believe that I have survived the death of one of my children and survived nearly a year after. I feel as if I am in a dream, a nightmare in which I will wake up and breath a sigh of relief that you are safe and well. But then reality checks in and I am once again reduced to tears, heartache and pain.
Your daughter is amazing, I love her so much. She is so like you in everyway. She is a STAR. I love and miss you so much. Love Mam xxxxx
Turkey Holiday / Mam I have just come back from a holiday in Turkey. We were all there except you and Dad. It's been a bitter sweet experience, I looked around at us all and remembered how you were suppose to be going on holiday last year. I know how excited that you were to be going with Gem and your friends. As I watched the young guys dancing around I knew that you would have been one of them. Every day I cried for what you are missing. Kaitlin was and is the star of the show. She danced at every given opportunity, she splashed about in the pool all day as if she had been born to swim! Everybody loved her, everybody wanted to kiss her. Why arent you here for her, she is so gorgeous? Kyle, Paulines son came too. He is so like you Dean. I sometimes couldn't look at him. His mannerisms, his body, It was like looking at you. I sometimes feel very angry that we have been denied your presence, even though a part of me was hoping that you were with us.... I love you my baby boy and hope that one day we will be reunited. Love Mammy xxxxx
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