Our darling, darling boy, we can't believe we are entering our fourth year without you. Nothing has changed Dean. We still wait for you, we still wait for you to walk through the door telling us it's all been a bad joke. Everytime I answer the phone I hope that its you calling. We didn't think that we would survive four weeks without you never mind four years. It has passed by so quickly Dean, but the pain is still the same. The only consulaton is that its one step closer to being reunited with you.

It was Kaitlin's 5th birthday yesterday and I looked at her and thought you would be so proud of her. She is so like you and has a lot of your characteristics. It's sometimes comforting to see, other times it hurts - a lot. She is our joy and fills our hearts, nothing or nobody else apart from you could fill that void. Steve is doing a brilliant job looking out for her, I know you would approve, despite the negative reaction we have experienced.

We all miss you so very much, we have a split life, a before and after. The before was when we were truly happy and our family was complete. It's so hard to think back to that fateful night. It hurts too much to remember. We are so lost without you...

Four years today was the last time we spoke. It was a wonderful conversation, I can still hear your voice. I know I will never forget it. We know you have been around the last couple of days, Dad and I recognise your signs. Please stay close.

I get angry that I am writing this - it shouldn't be.

I hope MJ is showing you the moonwalk, you always use to try and do it.

I'm sure you know the way Dad and I feel, we are totally bereft without you and wish with all our heart and soul that you were still with us.

We love and miss you more than I could ever convey in words.

Mum & Dad

xxxx

Hiya couz, Happy birthday Babe, I wish sooooo Much you was hear and we could celebrate in style, I know i havent wrote on here, but like mam said, None of us have forgot you, we would never do that, But it gets harder and harder to come on here and like aunty mi said, see your face on a screen, We just want you home here with all of us,

Last night was pretty hard for me, We all went out and Earlyer on the day we was all talking about you, We bumped into some of your friends and they was all going on how much they miss you, and how fab you was, and the tears started rolling, i couldnt hold it any longer, however hard i try, I really Soooo Badly miss you.

I wish you could come back and just make us all smile again, the way you always dsid when you was in the room,

Love you and Miss you Millions,

 Amy xxx

Make the Angels Laugh On your birthday and think of us as we will be thinking of you.

D E A N

Sending You Angel Dean Our

Birthday Wishes

with much Love

from

Vanessa Family

Hiya babes, havent written on here for a while but that doesnt mean that your anyway forgotten far from it everyone misses you so much, its heartbreaking to see your mam and dad try to carry on with life when inside they are hurting desperatly. Iwish i could help but nothing anyone says or does will take the pain away. Its your birthday in 3 days i so wish you could be here to celebrate it but maybe you will in spirit. Not a lot has happened nanand bamps are in benidorm for a month but they say it is to long i bet nan is giving bamps loads of grief haha. Well anyway babes have a lovely day on your birthday im sure the angels will organise something for you. Miss you so much love always. xxxxx

I haven't written here for a while. It's just so very painful to just look at your face on a screen and not to be able to touch you. Despite what people see Dad and I are still very much traumatised by you leaving us. I think we always will be. Dad spends a lot of time alone in the garden at all hours just staring into space. I know what and who he is thinking about.

Sometimes we are in a crowded room and our eyes will meet and for that split second we can read each others thoughts. We are both thinking the same thing. We miss you so very much. The light has gone out of our lives. Nothing is the same anymore. Nothing. Life has continued as normal for most people but not for us. Time stood still for us that night in July 05.  I have thrown myself into work, it's a distraction. It helps me continue to live until it's my time to go. I look forward to that day. Just to see your face and that big smile.

This time of year is particularly hard for us. We have to endure Christmas and New Year without you and then it's your birthday. Regardless of the pain I feel in my broken heart I would go through it all again rather than miss out of twenty-two years of you.

Dad and I went to Tenerife again. We can't face 'normal' Christmas' anymore. They don't celebrate it and it's warm and sunny so it doesn't feel like Christmas. Although New Year is New Year in any place in the world and they do it big style. Dad and I had planned to have a meal and a quiet evening and watch the fireworks. Unfortunately for us we ended up on Veronica's strip. You would have loved it there Dean. As I walked through the bars and streets there was lots of young people. I found myself looking for you in the crowd. I couldn't find you... As we watched the fireworks speeding up into the sky I prayed that you would be watching us and smiling down.

Kaitlin is turning into a mi-me of you. She is beautiful, bright and chatty. She brings me so much comfort and joy. Thank you for giving her to us. She told me a few weeks ago that she 'would  bring you back alive tomorrow'. I so wish she knew you. We won't allow her to forget you, never, ever.

I love you so very much Dean and can't find words adequate enough to describe the hurt and pain I feel. But wish I could say this to you personally....HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY SON.

Love you always and forever

Mam xxx

Dean, you always loved to take the mick, always had me in stitches.

In our hearts you will always be.

I miss you, you were a great friend and a great neighbour.

All my love always and forever

Gems xxxx

Hiya babe, just a few words to say how much we all miss you. Ive bought another caravan down par your favorite holiday place when you were young. I would love to see you so please visit when you can. Life isnt the same since youve gone theres a huge gap in all our lives wich could never be replaced. Hope to see you soon down par. xxx

To Comfort You...hope it hlps to know

that others Share in Your Sorrow.

Thinking of You.

Much Love

from

Vanessa Family.

another year has passed, when people say time heals, it dont seem to be working cause the pain i feel when i think about you is non discribeable.

you was always the cheeky one, always made the jokes that everyone laughed at, i idolised you, you are always someone i will look up too,

Mam has bought another caravan in par sands, its going be soo soo strange, duckworth is long gone so he cant blaime us welsh no more, even though it probley was us hahaha or even u and steven..

I always think of you dean and you are never forgotten in the family,

help your mum and dad through this day, they need your spirt around them..

i love you and miss you more than anything

amy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Today three years ago we were a complete and happy family. How did I not know that our lives were going to change in a split second. It was around about this time that you phoned me. You were so happy. You had just returned from the end of year bbq and also had your yearly appraisal which you had done very well. We talked about your holiday to Majorca with Gem and your friends. You were telling me that you had walked in through the door and Kaitlin had looked at you and said 'hiya'. You were so proud. Dean, I hope you can see you daughter now. She is so beautiful. She had her 4th birthday party yesterday and dressed up as a princess. She looked amazing. Although I will say that she is so like you, she can be stubbon and also likes the last word! She can talk the hind legs of a Donkey! Does that remind you of anyone?! That final converstion was a happy and wonderful one. I can hear you a clear as a bell. I thought I may have forgotten, but I haven't. Your still here with me.

I know last week you were around. Dad and I knew it was you, the incident couldn't have happened any other way. I hope it meant what I think it does....

I still don't believe that you have gone. I still wait for the phone to ring or for you to walk through the door and start winding us all up! I miss you more than words can say. I want to hold you physically. I can't believe it's three years, some days it feels like yesterday and other times it feels like a lifetime. Our whole family have been affected by your passing. We all miss you so very much.

As I am writing this I cry for you and ache to hold you. You will never be forgotten Dean. Each day that goes by is a day closer to you.

I love you my Son and miss you more than words can say.

Stay close to us...

Your broken hearted mum

xxxxxxxxxx